too bad you live with your parents still
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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