also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize