he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
