I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
