she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
