haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
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