I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
