How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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