just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
