Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
