Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
