my phone needs a breathalizer
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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