the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
