Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.

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(315): View more from New York

i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early

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(850): View more from Florida

She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night

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(734): View more from Michigan

He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.

(1-701): View more from North Dakota

You were always a thinker

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