that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
