He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
