I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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