My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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