My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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