I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize