saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Do vagina's smell?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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