3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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