i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
