i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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