The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
