You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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