i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Your penis caused this!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
