yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
