Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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