Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize