You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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