we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
