Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
