this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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