you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
