Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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