O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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