I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
