you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize