I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
