It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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