His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
