3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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