nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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