Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Randomize