I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dicks are not precious.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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