I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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