Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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