whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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