Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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