Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
