rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
