Only a mothe r could love this liver
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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