Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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