He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I need water and some morals
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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