I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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