I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
