another moral hangover. fuck.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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