its not stalking. its research.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
