with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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