I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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