If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
