I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
