Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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